Over the weekend I went to a beauty pageant for toddlers and pre-teens. My four-year-old cousin was a participant, so my mom and I drove up to Winston-Salem to be supportive. As much as I love pageants and things of that nature, kiddie pageants creep me out: the big hair, the fake teeth, the spray tans.... it's all too much for me.
Not my cousin, but close enough.
This pageant was a little more g-rated because the girls weren't allowed to wear make-up or bathing suits. We sat through 100(!!) four to six-year-olds while they pranced around stage in big, poofy dresses. The pageant itself was boring; the best part came after the awards ceremony. Roughly 40 out of the 100 girls got an award for something, whether it was Best Formal Wear, Best Stage Presence, Best Handwriting, etc. The girls who didn't get an award were the real winners in my eyes though: they cried and stormed off as their overweight moms looked on and cried too. How embarrassing. My mom and I chuckled to ourselves as we watched the moms run after their daughters, tears in their eyes and tissues in their hands.
Needless to say, my kids are not allowed to do pageants. They're also not allowed to play sports that I don't want to watch (soccer, baseball, golf). I honestly would rather them be gay than play soccer, only because it would be easier for me to deal with. I'm planning on having twin boys (twins so that I only have to lose the baby weight once, boys so that I can be the only woman in my household and therefore, get all the attention) so hopefully I can mold them into the kinds of athletes I enjoy watching. That's what parenting is all about.
